It's kind of an ongoing process...this thinking about balance. A recurring
theme in my life as I explore the tipping point, and try to discover the secret to maintaining balance. Right now,
after a serious car accident at high speeds, I am learning to walk again after a badly broken
right ankle. I can walk unassisted now, two months later, but haven't yet
regained my normal gait. Part of my recovery process involves "walking a
tightrope" which is actually a line painted on the floor and other
exercises to regain my body sense and balance during physio.
As I regain my physical balance so I can return to a balanced gait
with a full range of motion, I've found I'm also having to work on
regaining my mental/emotional equilibrium. I'm scared to drive...it was a
bad accident, caused by someone else's inattention. There wasn't
anything I could have done to change the outcome. So now, while the actual driving process came back to me just like riding a bike...I'm
hypervigilent when I drive anywhere, and anxious. As a result, I'm reluctant to drive at all, and only for short, familiar distances. That's something I
need to come to terms with. I need to seek out that sweet spot, that balance where I
recognize that I am doing all I can personally do (driving defensively,
obeying the rules of the road etc) to ensure my personal safety and
that I can't control anything else. I'm not there yet.
In terms of connected coaching in online spaces, I think there's also a balance to be
found, particularly in terms of taking an appreciative inquiry stance in
working with teams of educators. I believe that listening actively--hearing what lies
behind the words--is an important part of a connected coach's toolkit.
There's a place of stillness from where a coach needs to hear, and truly
appreciate, what the other is communicating.
I wonder if perhaps for
those of us with strong personalities/opinions/ways of being, whether we
are introverted or extroverted, it can sometimes be difficult to put
aside our own agendas and be mindful that "it's the group's group". I
think that is a part of finding the balance...knowing that it's not about one's
own agenda, yet at the same time knowing that as a coach, you have a
definite role, along with skills and competencies, to assist in the
growing and moving forward of the collaborative work. It's knowing how
to be a part of something and at the same time, not being inextricably
bound to it. Although it's early days in terms of my coursework, these are the thoughts I'm currently playing with.
2 comments:
Janne,
I am so glad to learn you are finding balance in your recovery!
You highlight the need for balance in Connected Coaching-- for mindful listening-- It's been my experience that is a challenge for many coaches-- leaving aside what has become natural sharing and adopting the unique coaching role.
Your wondering around putting aside personal agendas and yet rocognizing your role as a coach is a powerful and important one. I'll be interested in your continuing thoughts around balance as we continue to dig deeper.
Lani
Janne,
It sounds like you have experienced a great deal of trauma in regards to the accident. It seems as though you are working through the healing process, both physically and emotionally, and understand that it is, in fact, a process. I'm wondering if this bad experience has made the good things in life even better. I wonder if that assists you in finding balance...personally, as a coach, and as a participant in the Connected Coaching course.
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